I say this with an emphasis as cliche as it sounds…
Lately so many things have been revealed to me and I just been trying my best not to analyze the hows and whys. I just sit back and enjoy the show now a days to keep my brain from rummaging in those rabbit holes.
Yesterday, a former best friend contacted me out of the blue. I have been best friends with her since the age of 13 and cut her off 21. So its been 3 years since I’ve had any type of contact with her.
Well yesterday evening she messaged me through social media and apologized about the way she took advantage of my mother and I in the past.
Her apology didn’t come across as fake or manipulative, but actually genuine and sincere.
She stated that it has been eaten her alive for a while now and she finally worked up the courage to get everything off her chest. It was clear to her and I that she made her amends to everybody she has ever hurt in the past, and I was the final finally.
Funny thing is I’ve forgiven her already over time for her mistakes in the past and never had enough courage to tell her. We both had our faults but I still feel like a piece of shit for abandoning her in a time of crisis when she needed me the most.(It’s complicated)
Everything literally just made sense and fell into place after our short conversation. At the end we realized we both wanted to just be free from our past and are at a place in life where we can start anew.We decided to pick a date in the near future to catch up and I’m honestly looking forward to it (: . Like I literally have butterflies in my tummy as I type this :}
I swear my creator works in the most mysterious of ways and I can’t thank him enough for this deep seeded healing he brought upon the both of us last night.
Neal Brennan is an amazing comedian who has his stage set up with 3 mics. One for comedy, one-liners, and lastly “emotional stuff”. I loveeeee stand up comedy but this piece really hits home. He talks about his struggles with mood disorder in a way to shed light upon what we tend to go through as people with mental illness. Especially when its part nature/nurture
“Your like a cucumber trying to turn yourself into a pickle” had to be my favorite line.
If you like quality standup & have netflix youd be pretty pleased with his performance!
Just getting home from orientation at my new job at BBS cafe. It’s a Cajun style restaurant that is mm mm good! I applied for the position the day after being discharged from the loony bin (1/11/2017). I guess I just had this gut feeling that I couldn’t continue on with working in a hospital with so much daily trauma and sadness if I really wanted to heal..
They called me in for an interview at 11 am and then told me to come in for orientation at 3 pm. I was hesitant because I had my first appointment with my therapist at 1 pm and really hate being pressured for time, however it everything ended up working in my favor.
My therapist and I both agreed on the fact that we just clicked instantly and we would work well together to tackle those underlying demons that I detach from subconsciously. She focuses on healing, awareness, and finding your true authentic self. You know, that little innocent girl I lost a long time ago… I’m so excited to start this journey to obtain pure inner happiness.
Even though I lost my job yesterday I bounced back up like Viagra (word to Lil Wayne)
I swear God works in the most mysterious ways so now I choose to just sit back enjoy the show.
Lost my job today due to missed days from going to treatment. Wow & to add insult to injury my mother wont stop yelling about how bad things will always happen to me if i dont OBEY her and follow her ways.
“Your a failure and will continue to fail as long as you continue to think you dont need me”
As much as i dont want to cut off my mother I believe its time I begin the process of going no contact.
Went to the art car museun today with my homie kim & it was dope as cheese. If you haven’t been its definately a must see. Im so glad i can finally go out & enjoy life and all of its beauty now. The old me would of looked at the invite to hang out at the museum text with disgust & no intention of replying. & now I’m the one looking forward to outings and social gatherings.
*cues in pharrels happy song😊😊*